Hikmah
Bismillahi rahmani rahim
Alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin
wassolatu wassalamu 'ala rasulillah
Why is it that some people when trying to give advice or when talking about their own preference for doing something, sound 'holier-than-thou' and 'self-righteous'.. making other people feel down and worthless.. while others say something and make you feel remorse, but at the same time, you really want to take that advice or try to do what he is doing?
I know a brother who used to be in RPI, whenever he gives advice (intended or unintended), subhanAllah.. I always felt 'terasa' (what should I translate this as? :)), I felt terrible for not doing what he mentioned, but at the same time, his words always made me think and want to be a better person. SubhanAllah walhamdulillah.
How do we achieve that level? Allahu'alam.
Some of my own reflections:
sincerity plays a major role.. sincere in seeking out our own weaknesses before looking and noticing other people's weaknesses. Sincere in knowing that however bad someone else is, I know I am much much worse.. Sincerity in giving advice and wanting only good for the other person. Not because I feel I am a better person, not because she is 'oh-so-terrible', not because I love opening my big mouth to sell 'advice' when I never try to live by them.....
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knowledge of the sunnah and the ways that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam gave advice and taught his companions. Knowing what is the priority in teaching first - what to correct, what to keep quiet about. Certain ways are best for teaching certain things and there are ways for teaching different people...
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Yet, these are 'reflections' from someone who does not know what hikmah is herself, and from someone who often times practices the poorest of imans (re: hadith of changing things with your hands, tongue, and hating in the heart)...
Allahumma innaka 'afuwwun tuhibbul 'afwa, fa'fu'annaa